Barn Drama

You know, as I've been getting more educated with horses, and in general both in riding and knowledge -- there is one thing I've found thats seems to be the most common (and agreed on)

What is it you ask? Barn Drama.

Where did it start, Why does it start? - I realize that everyone will always have an opinion on something with horses, be it health, maintenance, training, riding or otherwise. There are obviously common ground rules, but like any home remedy everyone has their methods that work quite well for themselves.

Is this what directly inhibits barn drama? Everyone there is mostly there for fun, a place to board and ride. I'm still very green in any equine veterans eye yet it just seems with all the different opinions, versus the actual love for the sport/animals they almost counter themselves into a mess.

I've experienced it, and I happen to be a fairly confrontational person but only if I feel i'm being BS'd or general disrespect. I have little to no problem putting someone at a barn on the spot if they cross their lines and tell me something and it sounds fishy. We've come in contact with quite a few people that have acted this way unfortunately so its handy.

But anyway, back to the point - It seems that so much causes barn drama and everyone is there for the same reason, to ultimately have fun! (we hope right?).

What do you all find to be the biggest causes of barn drama? The new place we're moving seems very nice, everyone is extremely kind unlike other places we've been. What else do you guys find prevents and eliminates the start of barn drama?

This was primarly the reason we even started E-Equestrian, we were so tired of seeing drama even on forums. We're not naming any because that wouldn't be fair, however we feel that everyone should be treated equally and with as much respect as anyone else. I just cannot imagine how social order breaks down on a subject so cool as "equestrian" whether your a horse whisperer to the novice likes-to-ride kind of person. But as for the other places on the net, I'm sure everyone has been to a few, Tinorock and I both have -- not fun. We don't want anyone to name any in this thread, we trust everyone else has been to many other forums and has probably seen this before too.


So here is the last bit - how does local barn drama.... turn into online barn drama in other places? Its all very new to me, and me being who I am have a hard time dealing with anyones lack of respect for others... So perhaps someone here can fill me in with their wisdom and experience on all of this and how they deal with it.

OK IM DONE RANTING!!! :D

I HATE BARN DRAMA!!! I HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT!!

I cannot stand gossips, know it all's, stuck up snots, poop disturbers!! I can do without them!!!

What was the most common drama? - I find that most of the drama we came up against was because we couldn't be there every single day like everyone else could. We get out as much as we can but we can't be there every day (YET).

We run many sites and have lots of projects going, so people making you feel like "less of an owner" because you're not there everyday didn't fly well with us. We're there any chance we get, we can barely sit to eat and relax in a day.

If we could spend every moment in a paddock relaxing with horses i'd consider that a blessing, so chastizing someone for not having that luxury is wrong - we're dedicated as much as anyone else.

I know...folk always have to find something and someone to grump about and talk about behind their backs. It doesn't matter what it is that you do or anyone does, someone will always find something to talk about.

I hate it! It drives me insane, LIFE IS TOO SHORT!! Sheesh. Let's see, what was the barn drama I encountered.

A) Not being out everyday with my horse. SORRY I HAVE A LIFE AS WELL
B) Not riding the way everyone else rides
C) The way I handle my horse
D) GOSSIP, GOSSIP, GOSSIP about anything
E) They way I feed my horse
D) Not cleaning my stall everyday. Cause every 2nd day isn't good enough

Anything, seriously! Folk will find anything to talk about and diss anyone any chance that they get.

There will always be barn drama and @<hidden>#$@<hidden>#@<hidden>#$#@<hidden>!#$ who cause it. Just look at them and realize they have no lives, have to find something to feel superior about, make themselves feel better by hurting someone else no matter how they do it. There will always be people like this, no matter where you are. Work, Barn, Clubs...it's a stupid, waste of time, imature, grade 2 thing that will always be there.

I stay away from it, keep to myself and don't go out there to make friends. YES, friends are great..you just need to find ones that are in the same position as you. Find ones to bond with who are in the same boat as you. Ones who just try to keep to themselves, ones that are "talked" about....you'll find out that they feel the same way and are being treated the same way.

Reminds me of a forum I used to go to.

Hey ya'll have you seen what Eventgirl has been feeding her horse?? goat feed yes that's right goat feed. and she isn't even there to ride everyday, Like I am. Oh yeah and when she is here the way that she handles and rides, Wheeeeee!!!!!! OMG, and she cleans her stall like every other day. what is she a clean freak.

....Gossip??? I would never Start, participate ,or repete gossip ;)


I am only being silly and playing with you Event girl
BIG HUGS! ::giggle::

I know...I KNOW! I admit it, my horse is a goat as a matter of fact, yeah.


Shucks.....I like my horse to stand in foot deep pooh pooh too, that is great for building the strength in his feet, great stuff!

LOL, I know you are kidding...

STUPID ISN'T IT!!!!

I think it is immature, low self esteem, insecure actions taken by those who need serious help. I sincerely do hope that you aren't going through too much at the new barn you are at....

tell us, is this happening to you at the new location??? TALK TO US! We are here for you guys! Tell us what is going on with Tino's new home!

If it is any consolation, I don't board anywhere other than my back yard and I still hear the same things you guys were talking about in posts. No matter what you do, or where you go, not everyone will be happy and there are just some people that aren't happy no matter what. So you know what I say to them, UP YOURS. When they start paying for and taking care of my horse then their opinion will matter. Until then, like a good friend told me to tell people earlier, Piss Off.

I agree with you Denise!!! It doesn't matter where you are, it'll happen.

Your hair has too many split ends, bad color, aweful perm, horrible clothes, aren't in style, ugly shoes...bad makeup...blah blah blah..ugly car, too skinny, too fat..blah blah blah.

This is why I am having a hard time making friends, I was bullied and beat up, picked on, teased, made fun of...now I have no tollerance for it at all. I just keep to myself and do my own thing now....I cannot take the immaturity anymore.

I agree, tell them to @<hidden>#$@<hidden>#$@<hidden> and just do your own thing. If your horse isn't being abused, beat up, neglected, punnished....starved....then you have nothing to worry about. It if doesn't bother your concience...then you are doing nothing wrong.

well put!!

You need to tell us what is going on with you two at Tino's new barn. Is all of this happeneing to you guys there???

Oh noo, this new barn is great! - I guess it was a curious question on my behalf being so new to everything about horses for the past year.

So far everyone i've met at the new place has been very nice and more than helpful!!

We're still getting tino used to the place, but hes well adjusted and just seems so much more happier over here than he used to! He's much more attentive, he listens better, even takes the bits 100% easier.

This place has the vibe we were lookin for. Tinorocks did some serious searching and found the best barn in my opinion.

No drama yet! Thank goodness :D Everyone is really nice and there are so many different types of riders eventers, hunters, western, saddleseat, etc :D

Tino just seems so much happier, he has been such a good boy! He even has bridled with no problems! Quite amazing turnaround from before, I think that he just didnt like the other barn! I just wish I would have known sooner but it was the only place that I had ever owned him so we didn't know any different, know what I mean?

Okay, I just walked into this as a new comer, but here's my 2 cents.....Is it possible all of the DRAMA comes from the fact that this is a sport predominantly of women?

I've often pondered that question. I don't have a lot of boarding barn experience. We've only boarded at one barn, BUT I had no problems with the male owner...all of the comments or reprimands came from the female owner....

Now that our horses are back home, the main types of comments I hear are about their ages....we have 7 horses that are 3 and under (well I guess they're coming 4) in various stages of training....the coming 4 year olds have just started hacking out seriously and the 3 year olds are still playing following the leader -- actually my 5 month old is too, but he still thinks he's playing.....I get comments like "oh I'd NEVER ride a green horse out like that", "how can you ride a horse so young!", and my favorite, "only an idiot rides a horse with a halter and leadlines".

Mind you, this is at the same time that my horses are usually the best behaved in the situation.....and these are the same folks who want horses with personalities just like mine, or who buy my horses.

I can understand that this is a sport that engenders passionate discussions about health, welfare, disciplines, etc.....but cattiness and gossip...come on guys.

I agree, I can do without the Cattiness and Gossip myself as well. It happens everywhere though, especially when you get a bunch of woman together. I do not get along with the female gender all to well, cause I just don't think like them. I am too much of a tomboy and enjoy just...well, being myself.

It happens at work, in the barn, with or wherever you are and whatever you are doing. It happens. Especially in the horse world. I play the fiddle and I get it all the time in the fiddling community too.

The point is, don't get involved, stay away from it, don't let it bring you down (cause that is what they want) and just do what it is that you are doing.

Kimberly Canada British Columbia EventGirl I cannot beleive that you said that EventGirl said

I do not get along with the female gender all to well, cause I just don't think like them.



I do know for a fact that the majority of this, if not all, forum is female. And you are addored and held in high regaurd. I spank you hynee

A friend of mine actually found her horse listed for sale because the barn kids didn't think she rode enough (actually she went out weekday mornings while kids were in school to avoid them).

I think the problem is that most of what we do with horses is based on beliefs, not facts, and when people truely believe in something, they feel compelled to share their belief and convert others...just like religion.

My trainer wouldn't approve of all the bareback riding and bushwacking my show horses do, but what she doesn't know.... :)
Niki

LOL THUNDER!! You know what I mean!! When I was in school, I didn't get along very well with girls. Not that we fought or argued, I just couldn't take the "girly" attitudes.

I agree Peacock!

I haven't had to deal wit barn drama yet. The stable I ride at is great, every time you see someone they say 'Hi,' ask how you are and if you need any help, even the barn owner.

I don't see too many people though, because I ride in the late afternoon- 6:30pm-7:30pm, and now when my lesson is over it's dark since it is getting dark early here. There is only one 'bad apple' at my barn-I call her the crazy lady, lol! She is stuck up and cusses her horse out for the dumbest things, like if he looks at another person riding in the ring. She also acts like she owns the place, I was tacking up for my lesson and she told me and my trainer that we "better not mover her jumps because she just set them up for herself." Haha, she didn't buy those jumps, she is simply a boarder-pluse there are about 7-8 jumps, plenty for two people to share! So we went out to the ring and first thing my trainer does is move a jump, LOFL! I almost died laughing because crazy lady was watching us and had an evil look on her face! I know, mean, but we only moved about 3 jumps, she had 4 jumps to herself that she didn't even use. At my lessons if someone else is using the arena I only use half, that way we aren't getting into each others way and if they want they can stay at their own end, but I don't get mad if they come at 'my half,' it's not my arena and they have as much right as I do to use it.

I think that most barn drama is caused because of the simple fact that everyone had their own opinions, it's just that some people look down on other's opinions because they aren't open minded to different ideas. Not everyone is going to agree, but there is no need to argue, we just have to accept that there is always going to be that bad apple and move on-that's all you can do besides going and making fun of someone because they do something differently than you-your not going to agree with the whole world, that's why I choose the people I am around carefully, and try to stay away from the bad apples, or at least ignore them. I do agree though that sometimes they can really get to you, and it does take a really strong person to shut out the actions of others.

LOL!! I would have TOTALLY moved those jumps just to spite her! I would not have even thought of moving the jumps if nothing was said to me, but only because someone thought they had the right to snipe at me about NOT doing something...I am going to go ahead and do it.

I have always been like that. I'd think about doing the dishes and be about ready to get up to do them, or I'd head to the kitchen..them my Mom or Dad would say "Get those dishes done" and then that'd be it.....I wouldn't want to do them anymore.

LOL.....I would have moved the jumps too!!!

Okay, I just walked into this as a new comer, but here's my 2 cents.....Is it possible all of the DRAMA comes from the fact that this is a sport predominantly of women?

LOL DLBauer!!!
I totally agree with you!!! Sure, Im a girl, but come on, if you start to say something about someone else, (especially a woman) Its going to come back and bite you in the BEHIND!!! ::wiggle::

And I HATE barn Drama!!! Anyone ever heard of the Saddle Club TV show??? Well, it is all full of BARN DRAMA!!! lol Phil likes stevie, Carole and lisa dont like Veronica! I mean, come on, who would even want to stay at a stable like that, (but now that I think about it I think I would:):))

I just moved to a different stable last week, and My horse and I are the oinly english jumpers. So, really, while every one else in thier western saddles on top thier QHs(sorry, I have a thing with them...:{} ) I am making my own kjumps out of logs and fallen trees, and It is FUN, let me tell you!!! lol So the stable owner since I know her real well, made a couple jumps for me.

So I say just find a nice, homey plac where no one can give you any barn drama. Good luck with you and your horse!!!

I used to live at a stable, and oh boy, there were some good cat fights, and story telling going on there.

Most of the time it would get started about people abusing their horse, or someone leaving grain down when it is obviously supposed to be locked up.

Once there was a lady saying that a border was sleeping with the owners husband while she was away at shows (which was not true, I lived there!)

You know what though, almost everytime that there was trouble at our stables it was the same one or two people that started it.

With time, one left, and the other got kicked out....so it just goes to show it doesn't get you anywhere.

Oh, and we had a little drama over the people doing chores, not getting it all done, or just being lazy, and leaving all of the work for someone else.

I agree with eventgirl, I hated girls in school, I had all boy cousins, and was a tomboy and didn't fit in with all of the clicky girls, so I hung out with the boys. They were familiar to me, not all the girly gossip, and stupid mind games.

Zip, you and I would SO GET ALONG WELL!!!! Deb is the same way as well!! Same with Chrysti (Mofoxgirl and Alwaysbrokepaints)

All Joe and I ever hear at our barn is ........"MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!":eek:

Omg ik what you guys mean when you say YOU HATE BARN DRAMA!! Believe me ik. My former best friends parents owns the ranch where i board my horse at and omg is there ever drama. she used to be the best rider but since the first girl started boarding we now have two other girls boarding there aswell (including myself) and she is no longer the best rider or horse trainer. so there's always tons of tension between all of us. and i HATE IT!! it totally takes the fun out of rideing. but i cant change boarding places cuz they gave me a really good deal on boarding i only pay 125 dollars. soo... yah but its sooo hard!!

I HATE BARN DRAMA!! IS THERE EVER AN END TO IT? IS THERE EVER!!:{}

It's really hard to find nice barns but I've had great luck in falling into good ones. What I find is best to avoid are the barns where there are tons of people there EVERY DAY! Where I am, I hardly ever see someone else at the ranch and if I do, it's one or two people- it's nice, quiety, comfortable, and the owner is very picky about who she lets board there to avoid just that- drama. People have a real bad way of twisting suggestions into "I know everything about horses" but others also have a bad way of really thinking they know everything about horses and make you think so.

I hate the ones who look at you like you're stupid because of the things you do with your horse. I mean, take Whiskey and me for example- he is the only horse I would ever sit down on the ground in front of or next to. I do things with him that you should never do with a horse but that doesn't mean I'm stupid- I'm showing him I trust him so I can get the trust in return because of his nasty past and it's just because of his personality and my comfort zone with him.

I will admit that I've badmouthed some people at the ranch only because some things they do irritate me like feeling the need to supplement their horses every day even if they're not being worked, and I don't mean like just plain grain, I mean vitamins and this and that that aren't neccessary. But what do I know? I've never owned a horse before, right? *rolls eyes*

Anyways, I hear where you're coming from and I agree that it's incredibly frustrating. There's nothing worse than being somewhere where you feel resented for being honest- why do you think I moved over to this community and away from another one? Because I was going through that very thing- "barn drama" but online which is even worse because rumors travel much faster over the internet. ICK!

Hope the new place you're looking at works out.

we are really lucky right now with the people in our barn. the drama is very minumal and easy to brush off without offending. we are a pretty busy barn but everyone gets along really well. it is a nice change.

Well where Colt grazes everybody is nasty and horrible to me, my instructor included. i am not sure why,whether it be the fact that i am the youngest or that my horse is too big for me or too old,or whether i can only get out there once every one or two weeks.I don't like standing up for myself because i am scared of people when i am talking face to face so i just keep my miserableness and crying to myself. And i got no friends at school to talk to either.
Zoe

BARN DRAMA SUCKS!
In my experience, I have heard barn gossip about everything from how to tie properly, saddle, shoe, feed, clean stalls, groom, and ride all the way to why Shirley had too much to drink today!
The one that bothers me the most is unsoliceted advice. I don't mind having people tell me how to do something, everyone does it different, and I think thats great. I may not use that method all the time, but I am happy to hear about it, and even discuss why I'm not using it right now, or why it doesn't work with this horse. And if I haven't tried it yet, or heard of doing it that way, I am happy to give it a try and see if I think I can learn to make it work.

But most people tell you why what you are doing is WRONG their way is RIGHT and you should only do it their way. IF YOU DON"T HAVE AN OPEN MIND ABOUT WAYS TO DO THINGS DON"T TALK TO ME!

A trainer has a tool box, full of training tools. If you have more then one tool for a job, you are more likely to find the one that fits and works perfect, and if you are willing to find new tools you will never find a problem you can't fix. But, if you only have one tool, cause it's always worked before, you will find a horse that tool doesn't fit. And if you refuse to learn a new tool, for whatever reason, you will never fix that horse completely.


Everyone has something to contribute, I can't tell you how many "beginners" have simplified a job I was overthinking and overdoing. Or how many trainers I've astonished with a golden nuget of info they didn't think I had. Listen, watch and learn, if you don't want to use what you see, be thankful you have a different way, and DON"T SAY A PEEP!

By the way, I agree that many woman are the source of barn gossip, they need to get a hobbie like quilting, then they can sit in a big circle and gossip all day, WHERE I CAN'T HEAR IT!!!!!!

Ok, I'm done ranting now too:)

Oh my goodness, after reading this thread, I am counting my lucky stars that I've never had big problems with this. I think my secret for avoiding this stuff is tending to ride at places where people are laid back. If I visit a stable and I don't like what I see, I leave and usually don't come back. You can generally get a good sense of people's attitude pretty fast. I also think that people will figure out pretty fast that you won't get involved in their petty gossip. After a couple of tries, if you know how to politely disengage from the gossip, they tend to take it elsewhere and leave you out.

There is Barn drama everywhere at my barn, people not feeding their horse enough hay, people being too worried about their horse *coughs a name* Being a know-it-all *coughs a name* people being married and cheating on their life *coughs a name* Oh and my favorite boyfriend girfriend relationships in a barn and the ever so famoud GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIPGOSSIP GOSSIP! Well I hope I am right.... OH AND DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE GOT FOR HER HORSE...EEW BANANNA TREATS....yes that has happened at our barn...lol..:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I hate BARN DRAMA :mad: